Skip to main content

tv   The Late Show With Stephen Colbert  CBS  May 25, 2017 11:35pm-12:36am EDT

11:35 pm
captioning sponsored by cbs ♪ come to me my love ♪ dancing i adore ♪ laugh and sing forevermore ♪ it's a pleasure to hold your hand ♪ ♪ you've got to understand ♪ i'm crazy about you
11:36 pm
ryan. featuring jon batiste and "stay human." and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) >> stephen: hey! ( cheers and applause ) thank you so much. what an amazing audience. amazing. you guys are fantastic. you guys are a shot of espresso with a twist. thank you so much. welcome to "the late show," everybody. i'm your host, stephen colbert. ( cheers and applause ) very nice, very nice. hey, you know a couple weeks ago
11:37 pm
when house republicans passed their healthcare plan? they were so excited about providing the affordable healthcare to everyone, that they didn't wait to find out if they were providing affordable healthcare to anyone. ( laughter ) well, the congressional budget office finally crunched the numbers on their plan and, unlike their first plan, which would have 24 million people off health insurance, this one will leave only 23 million more americans uninsured. just 23 million, okay? that's it. >> jon: wow. >> stephen: 23. to put that in perspective, if you laid 23 million people end to end, they would reach a country that has health care. ( laughter ) ( applause ) north? maybe. according to the c.b.o., it raises premiums for older, poor americans by as much as 850%.
11:38 pm
so, i think the g.o.p. repealed and replaced your grandpa. ( laughter ) republicans dismissed the report. texas representative and portable tube of yogurt, louie gohmert, told reporters why he was ignoring the c.b.o. report. >> i could care less what c.b.o. says. they couldn't find their rear end with both hands. >> stephen: which is too bad since, from now on, we'll all be doing our own prostate exams. ( laughter ) >> jon: whoa, whoa. whoa, man. >> stephen: what'd you find? ( laughter ) i'd rather do my own, actually. i'd kind of rather. i know what's coming. ( laughter ) and all this is bad news for passing the senate's version of the bill. even before the c.b.o. report, mitch mcconnell told reporters, "i don't know how we get to 50 at the moment, but that's the goal." and, if this passes, "getting to 50" will also be the new lifespanl.
11:39 pm
the c.b.o. score is already having a huge political impact. today, in montana, there was a special congressional election to replace interior secretary ryan zinke. who was the congressman from there. it's a nailbaiter between democratic candidate and man who comes to your elementary school to sing about flossing, rob quist, and republican billionaire and guy willing to lose friendships over a game of "pictionary," greg gianforte. last night, when he was asked by a reporter for the guardian newspaper about the c.b.o. score, gianforte body slammed the reporter. so gianforte may or may not win the election, but he'll definitely win "wrestlemania." ( laughter ) he is jacked. he looks good. ( cheers and applause ) this is actual
11:40 pm
conchtation. >> to the c.b.o. score, because, you know, you were waiting to make your decision about health care until you saw the bill, and it came out-- >> i'll talk to you about that later. >> yeah, but there's not going to be time. i'm just curious-- >> speak with shane, please. >> just-- sick and tired of you guys! the last guy that came in here, you did the same thing. get the hell out of here. get the hell out of here. the last guy did the same thing. are you with the "guardian?" >> yes, and you just broke my glasses. >> the last guy did the same damn thing. >> you just body slammed me and broke my glasses. ( audience reacts ) >> stephen: that's a good reporting right there-- he knows there's no video, so he's narrating his own body-slam. ( laughter ) "you just broke my glasses, and now you are hoisting me above your head and hurling me toward the wall, into which i have crashed with a bone-shattering thud, and slumped to the floor below. this is ben jacobs, signing off from consciousness." bill?
11:41 pm
( piano riff ) now, that happened the night before the election. got to be pretty damaging. i don't know how anyone could vote for a candidate who body slams people. >> i've never seen donald trump fight like this! >> oh, my god! >> stephen: i forgot -- nothing matters. ( laughter ) but that reporter may have gotten off easy. just check out this ad gianforte ran earlier in the election. >> rob quist wants to establish a gun registry, your name, your guns, in a federal computer making it easier for democrats to grab your guns. it's time to fight back. ( gunfire ) >> stephen: let that be a lesson to you government: if you t
11:42 pm
it plugged in in the middle of a field. ( laughter ) dummy! ( cheers and applause ) oh, they bov putting their computers out in the field! ( piano riff ) i know it's a dumb commercial -- but before you roll your eyes at these g.o.p. gun nuts, the democrat, quist, ran an ad where he shot a tv playing gianforte's ad. ( gunfire ) ( explosion ) >> stephen: guys, please stop shooting things. ( laughter ) just cut out the metaphorical middleman and have a penis sword fight. just -- ( cheers and applause ) we know that's what this is about. winner goes to congress. and, i got to say, i do a little bit feel for gianforte here. i mean, it seems crazy to body slam a reporter, but when you're in the public eye, and people
11:43 pm
keep badgering you with questions, it can happen to the best of us. just look at the q&a i did before the show tonight. >> probably my favorite interview of all time. any questions? second row right there. >> hello, steven. my question is as follows, are you and jon stewart actually friends? ( laughter ) >> stephen: you son of a pitch! come here! come here! >> put me down! >> stephen: go! just go! ahhh! >> ahhh! ahhh! >> stephen: damn it! uncht>> ahhh! my glasses! ( cheers and applause ) ( piano riff ) >> stephen: he's fine. he's fine. some of that was made up. ( laughter ) meanwhile, the russia scandal looms ov
11:44 pm
congressman over an unconscious reporter. we've learned that james comey made detailed handwritten memos every time he spoke with the white house to properly document conversations that were on the verge of improper. "verge of improper," of course, also the new series on masterpiece theater after dark. ( laughter ) not sure what that was. i'd watch that but i'm not sure -- i didn't get a chance to see that graphic before the show tonight. ( laughter ) i'm not sure if we have to blur the crotch there. ( laughter ) and news of these notes has some people freaking out, especially white house chief of staff and method for cleaning your priebus, reince priebus. the comey note that priebus is worried about would have been written back in february, when priebus called james comey and
11:45 pm
about communications between donald trump's associates and russians. yes, he wanted them to knock down those russian reports. and i'm being told we have a response from those russia reports. ♪ i get knocked down ♪ but i get up again ♪ you're never going to ♪ keep me down ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: strong words. strong words. ( laughter ) at the time, the white house denied that priebus made the request of comey and mccabe, which may be why, when they learned of the memos, white house officials met the news with "sustained panic." ( laughter ) yes, "sustained panic," which also describes sean spicer's daily press briefings. ( laughter ) ( cheers and applause )
11:46 pm
and i believe we have an artist's reconstruction of the there you go. yes. and with comey set to testify publicly in the coming weeks on capitol hill, one white house official said, "we're waiting for the other shoe to drop. quite frankly, we're all waiting." the other shoe? that's a lot of shoes. ( laughter ) well, i guess we'll find out in priebus' upcoming tell-all book, "the very guilty caterpillar." ( laughter ) we've got a great show for you tonight. oscar isaac is here. but when we return, i'll have the latest revelations from a big, furry hat. stick around. ( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) do we really have to choose him to be our next spokesperson? seems like a good fit.
11:47 pm
i'm yawning just talking about him. well it's our job to change that. uh guys. i think he can hear us. hm. sounds like you're on the fence. why don't i just leave you my resume? yes, it's laminated. no thanks. you're hired! caramel has been square for far too long. uh. ow. introducing new caramel m&m's. at lincoln, we're all about making things simpler for you. like, imagine having your vehicle serviced... from the comfort of your own home. introducing complimentary lincoln pickup and delivery servicing.
11:48 pm
pickup and delivery servicing on the entire family of lincoln luxury vehicles including a complimentary lincoln loaner. well it's a perfect nespresso hold on a second.orge. mmm. ♪ [mel torme sings "comin' home baby"] hey there. want a lift? ♪ where are we going? no don't tell me. let me guess. ♪ have a nice ride. ♪ how far would you go for coffee that's a cup above? i brought you nespresso. nespresso. what else? we, the device loving people want more than just unlimited data.
11:49 pm
stream unlimited action. watch unlimited robots. watch unlimited romance. if you are into that. but we also want more like... unlimited hbo. can i stop dying now mark? no can't do mi amigo. it's unlimited. besides you are really good at it james. don't settle for any unlimited data plan. only the at&t unlimited plus plan comes with hbo included at no extra charge.
11:50 pm
11:51 pm
( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) >> stephen: jon batiste and "stay human," everybody! ( cheers and applause ) whoo! whoo! >> jon: whoo! >> stephen: knicknack paddy wack! good to see you, jon. hey, folks, when i can do this with my hair, that's when i know i need a haircut. i do this every day. haircut next time you see me. ( laughter ) you know, as the host of a talk show, i wield tremendous power. as much power, in fact, as history's most cold-hearted tyrants, like genghis khan, kim jong-un, and jay-z. ( laughter ) to become jay-z, he first had to
11:52 pm
murder jays "a" through "y." ( laughter ) all of us have one thing in common: "lemonade" is about us, and we all wear a big furry hat. ( drumming ) ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: now that this hat is upon my head, any proclamations i make are now and forever law. let us begin. ( drumming ) from this moment on, if there is
11:53 pm
and you make a face that cheers the baby up, you are the new sully sullenberger. ( laughter ) let it be known, anyone who tells me to "chillax" shall be "killaxed." ( laughter ) ( cheers and applause ) henceforth, if your wedding does not have an open bar, my gift to you will be whatever's left of the bottle of bourbon i brought to the reception. ( laughter ) in addition to summer blockbusters, movie studios must also release fall, winter, and spring blockbusters. there is no season when i don't want to see chris pratt walking away from an explosion. ( laughter )
11:54 pm
let the word go forth. if you cross the road while looking at your phone, i get to drive over you while looking at my phone. ( laughter ) ( cheers and applause ) somebody needs to invent a "bagel" emoji. i feel weird texting "star of david" and "donut." ( laughter ) cnn's news app may only send alerts when it's actual breaking news. i have no urgent need to know what anthony bourdain is willing to put in his mouth now. ( laughter ) from now until the end of days, if you call your dog your baby, you must put that dog through college. ( laughter ) ( applause )
11:55 pm
i hereby proclaim that men's briefs are no longer called "tighty-whities" but rather "dorky-porkies." ( laughter ) ( applause ) so let it be written, so let it be done. hockey games are now just the fights. the zamboni may come out occasionally to sweep up the teeth. ( laughter ) the hat has spoken! ( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) we'll be right back with oscar isaac. ♪ ♪ ♪ i'm dr. kelsey mcneely and some day you might be
11:56 pm
calling me an energy farmer. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪
11:57 pm
discover card. hooh, you're real?? you know i'm real! at discover, we're always here to talk. good, 'cause i don't have time for machines. some companies just don't appreciate the power of conversation! you know, i like you! i like you too! at discover, we treat you like you'd treat you. get the it card and talk to a real person. allthat was amazing.e sitting. the ceiling is all spider webs. we missed grandpa's 99th birthday. i'm actively trying to stand up right now. and his funeral. oh i have a beard. oh! a chip. (laughter) binge watching isn't always rewarding. but hotels.com is. thanks captain obvious. how long have you been here? unlock instant savings now and earn free nights to use later. hotels.com.
11:58 pm
11:59 pm
( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) >> stephen: welcome back, everybody! ladies and gentlemen, my first guest tonight is a golden globe winner who's been the bad guy in
12:00 am
xmen, the good guy in "star wars" and the talented guy in just about everything. please welcome oscar isaac! ( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) >> thank you. >> stephen: well, nice to have you on, especially tonight, because today is the 40t 40th anniversary of the release of the original "star wars" movie. ( cheers and applause ) and i'm enough of a "star wars" fan nobody has to tell me that you're podameron. >> you really are a fan. >> stephen: i am. i saw the original "star wars" three weeks before it came out in a test market in my hometown. do you remember your first? of all the movies, which was the first you saw?
12:01 am
i was blown away. >> stephen: how old were you at the time? >> that came out '81, '82? i was, like, four. ( audience reacts ) >> stephen: was that scary for a 4-year-old to see because those ewoks are pretty violent. >> pretty frightening. i remember when darth vader's helmet comes off for the first time and you see he's just like a fat old bald guy underneath. >> stephen: he's a sith lord, not a fat old bald guy. >> he's pretty scarred up. >> stephen: that must have scared you. >> that shocked me. yeah. you see a lot of that, you know, a lot of bad dudes are fat, old, bald guys. >> stephen: that's true, who just want to be loved. he just wants to be loved. >> they just want to be held. >> stephen: they just want to
12:02 am
( laughter ) what's the security like on the if film? >> it's crazy. the first time around we got actual hard scripts we could read and flip through. at the end of shooting, they're, like, you have to give the script back. i was, like, sure. i went home with my script. a week later they said called and said they'd love to get the script back. i said, yeah, i'll send it. a week goes by, and they're, like, the lawyers would like the script back. yes, right away. ( laughter ) they said after the movie, you can have the script. and after it came out i got a leather-bound thing with my name on it. >> stephen: we were lurky right before she passed to have carrie fisher to talk to her about her new book and her experience during the first "star wars" series. do you do scenes with her character? >> yeah, actually, a large amount of the stuff that i got to do was with carrie which was
12:03 am
amazing. it's actually -- i remember the first day of shooting was a scene with carrie and it was still -- you know, oftentimes the first day, the filmmakers, everybody's trying to get the tone and figure it out, and i remember it was a scene where i come to talk to her and she was very upset with me and slaps me. and ryan kept doing it over and over -- >> stephen: the director? ryan johnson, the director, yeah. it ended up being 27 takes of carrie just leaning in. and every time she would hit a different spot in my face. >> stephen: to keep the scene fresh. ( laughter ) >> she was by far the quickest witted, funniest, most down-to-earth, real human beings i ever had the opportunity to work with. she does amazing work if this. yeah, it was definitely a heartbreaker. ( applause ) >> stephen: well, i understand
12:04 am
a pretty early age and you were interested in science fiction and fantasy pretty early on. we have a scholarship of the first film you did here. can you set up the clip, what it's about? >> i had an affinity pore the classics as well, so, i believe this clip will be of my first lead role, and it's a monster that ends up much like darth vader being killed by love. >> stephen: okay. jim? ( soft music )
12:05 am
>> thank you. thank you. >> ste: realization. is it a vampire? >> yeah. ( laughter ) >> stephen: who were the other actors in that film? >> my sister and my cousin in my dad's bathrobe as a ninja. >> stephen: so a ninja fight ago monster. >> undead. >> stephen: undead monster. with strawberry quick. >> stephen: and how does love kill him? >> as the film goes on, he goes to get the girl -- you know, he's angry and she feels sad for him and holds out her hand and when he goes to hold her hand, it breaks his heart and he dies. >> stephen: the love and tenderness kills the monster. >> mm-hmm. the monster also falls on my cousin's hand, you see his hand go like that. my father directed it. ( laughter ) >> stephen: you grew up all over america, right?
12:06 am
>> yeah. >> stephwh y think of yourself as being from? >> well, for a while, i thought i was from russia. >> stephen: why? you have family in russia? >> no, i was born in guatemala, my dad is cuban. i remember showing up in kindergarten being, like, guys, i'm russian. they're, like, great. it would be all the kids against me in the war games. i went home one day and said, dad, so we're russian? he said, what? he's, like, we're russian in the morning. >> stephen: dad jokes. dad jokes. ( laughter ) well, now you're playing the greatest most challenging role for a young actor which is "hamlet." >> yes. >> stephen: congratulations. thank you. >> ste
12:07 am
that role? for an older actor, it's lear. for younger actors, "hamlet," that's the mountain to climb. what's the mountain look like to you now? >> lot of words. >> stephen: shakespeare got paid by the pound. >> yeah. >> stephen: could you try to explain one of the lines to me. i love "hamlet" and i'm interested in this line. he says to his friend, horatio, played by keega keegan-michael . he says, there are more things than are dreamt of in your philosophy. what reading would you say. >> are we going to nerd it out? >> stephen: yes. hamlet and horatio are theology student and they are
12:08 am
stoicism. we are reading the folio which are there are more things in heaven and earth, horatio, than are dreamt of in our philosophy. ( applause ) >> stephen: that will blow my mind, because the stowics are what you see is what you get. >> yes, and at the time it was the lutheran reformation. they believe when you die you go to heaven or hell, there's no purgatory. the play for us is how do you grieve, then? a lot of people say you can't believe in purgatory? that's when we play for people's shows. >> stephen: it's like a waiting room, you take the holy shower and go to heaven. you do an ion in purgatory and you're done. >> and we're all praying for the process to go well. in the reformation, they're, like, that doesn't exist and people were confused how to
12:09 am
mourn. >> stephen: hamlet is saying h he's pro purgatory because that's where the ghost is? >> a ghost that looks like his father comes back and says avenge me. either purgatory exists or it's a demon or an angel. >> stephen: that sounds like a good play. i want to see it. >> yeah. >> stephen: oscar, thank you so much for being here. good luck. "hamlet" is at the public theater june 20 through september 3! oscar isaac, everybody! we'll be right back with laurie metcalf. ( cheers and applause ) ( band playing )
12:10 am
ayou don't have to choose just one thing. choose your trio with any 3 of 9 selections for $15.99. like new creamy lobster pasta toasted parmesan shrimp and southern-style crab cakes. come create your trio before it ends. itbut one i think with quesa simple answer. we have this need to peek over our neighbor's fence. and once we do, we see wonder waiting.
12:11 am
narrows the influence of narrow minds. and brings this world one step closer. so, the question you asked me. what is the key? it's you. everything in one place, so you can travel the world better.
12:12 am
to take on the "tom insurance companies and the credit card companies and the wall street banks... that's what tom perriello is about."
12:13 am
i'm tom perriello... and before and after congress i led non-profits to battle climate change, poverty and president bush's attacks on civil rights. now i'm running for governor to reduce economic inequality. because together, we really can build a virginia that works for everyone. ( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) >> stephen: hey, everybody! welcome back! my next guest is an emmy award winner you know as jackie on "roseanne." she's now back on broadway and nominated for a tony. plus, she's going to be jackie on "roseanne."
12:14 am
( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) >> stephen: young lady. there you go. now, just for the people out there who may not know, i just reminded them in your intro right there, that "roseanne" is coming back. >> it is coming back! ( cheers and applause ) i know! >> stephen: how long is it between seasons, then? >> between -- oh, wow, 20 years. i don't know. >> stephen: really? something like that? >> well, my son's 23, and he was born on the show. >> stephen: how did that come about? how did something that's gone off the air 20 years ago come back like that? >> john goodman went on "the talk" and they did, like, a 30-second parody. it went well. then when he went on to
12:15 am
one of the anchors on the show asked john if he would consider doing a reunion. he said, of course, i would. and that got sarah thinking. sarah made calls to everybody. everybody said yes. so it came together really fast. >> stephen: so this coming fall? >> well, we're going to tape it in the fall, so i guess it will be on in 2018. >> stephen: hard to go back into a character after that long? did you have a hook for jackie? what's the first thing you think of when getting back into the character? >> i think of barney fife, i guess. ( laughter ) >> stephen: one bullet? jackie was just trying to do so well and couldn't accomplish things easily. >> stephen: well, you have. you've got three emmys. this is your fourth tony nomination for "a doll's house, part 2". >> yes. >> stephen: i know that you lived in -- i know you lived in chicago for many years. did you grow up there as well? >> no, i grew up in southern illinois but i feeik
12:16 am
from chicago because we starean. i think it's in its 40t 40th season. i was around there for quite a while. >> stephen: did you always want to be an actress? >> no, i was much too practical to think i would ever be able to make a living as an actor. so i was a german major. ( laughter ) thinking that that's the way in. >> stephen: that's safe? yeah, plan a. >> stephen: sure, exactly. ( laughter ) and then i -- >> stephen: when did that occur to you not being -- >> um, well, that i wasn't going to make it as a german interpreter? i ended up not -- i got sidelined by meeting the stepping bofl people and we formed our theater in hyde park and it's still going strong when we moved into chicago. >> stephen: you went to anthropology? >> yes. in hindsight, i was trying to
12:17 am
find something where i could observe maifer and also interpret. winding up as an actor, i get to go both those things. >> stephen: from anthropology to acting is not that big of a deal. not that much of a switch, i suppose. like going to a native tribe and impersonating. ( laughter ) the entire cast is nominated for "a doll's house, part 2". >> yes. ( applause ) >> stephen: this is kind of an interesting idea. it's at the golden theater on broadway and again it's up for the tony on june 11, here on cbs, the tony awards. you have been nominated four times, never gotten a tony yet. >> nope. >> stephen: me, either. ( laughter ) after 138 years, there's a sequel to ibson's play, a norwegian dramatic playwright, and you get to follow it up. >> i find the t
12:18 am
would -- n it "a doll's house, part 2" picking up where henry gibson left off. but the title is misleading because some people may think you need to know the original but you don't. it might seem like a drama, a period piece, and it might be dated and stuffy, and it's not that either. it's very fresh and funny. >> stephen: ibson, the issues are contemporary. "a doll's house, part 2" is about marriage is a trap for women. and people are calling out industry for poisoning the town. it's hip and fresh. >> it's funny! >> stephen: it is. what do you do to warm yourself up for the show? >> this show in particular is very glib. i go to the theater early and on to the set before the audience comes in and it's
12:19 am
i do all my monologues very quickly and walk around the set by myself, then i go back up to the dressing room and run my part out loud in my dressing room all the way through. >> stephen: do you ever do any tongue twisters or anything like that? >> i haven't. >> stephen: no? would you like to do some now because we've prepared a few. >> yes, because i need the vocal warmup before the show. >> stephen: we do this occasionally when we have stage actors on we like to do vocal warmups to give them another tool to use. you look at that one and i'll look at this one. >> okay. >> stephen: ready? ladies and gentlemen, this is "the 'late show's' new vocal warm-ups"! ( trumpet ) want to go first? >> i'll go. the first one is -- billy crystal pistol whips hillbillies silly. ( laughter ) >> stephen: that's nice.
12:20 am
don cheadle downs cheetos whilst donning torn chinos. ( laughter ) ( applause ) mm-hmm. >> pavarotti's maserati propelled him promptly to the potty. ( laughter ) ( applause ) >> stephen: dumps mcgumps sump-pumped for fun and loudly bumped mumford and sons. ( laughter ) ( applause ) vocal warmups! you can see her in "a doll's house, part 2" on broadway, and at the tonys, june 11 on cbs. laurie metcalf, everybody! we'll be right back with april ryan. ( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) we, the device-loving people, want more than just unlimited data. we want unlimited entertainment. so we can stream unlimited action. punch unlimited robots.
12:21 am
but we also want more. like unlimited hbo. can i stop dying now? no can do mi amigo. it's unlimited. besides, you're really good at it james! don't settle for any unlimited plan. get at&t unlimited plus. and, now get the amazing iphone 7 on us. the seal you can trust. with stain and sealer in one... and easy to choose colors... exceptional beauty and protection have never been easier. thompson's waterseal stain and sealer. available at national retailers. but when we brought our daughter home, that was it. now i have nicoderm cq. the nicoderm cq patch with unique extended release technology helps prevent your urge to smoke all day. it's the best thing that ever happened to me. every great why needs a great how. fromi wanted to seeved, this great country. my last wish is for you to do it for me, as a family. love, grandpa.
12:22 am
older grandaughter: it'll be alright. i know. grandson: how did you meet grandpa? grandmother: actually on a blind date. [ laughter ] i wish he was on the trip with us. he's sitting right between the boys in the back of the car. [ laughter ] ♪ america ♪ all come to look for america ♪ all come to look for america life's as big as you make it. the all-new 7-seater volkswagen atlas with america's best bumper-to-bumper limited warranty.
12:23 am
narrator:to do time is what is right. ralph northam. army doctor during the gulf war. volunteer director of a pediatric hospice. progressive democrat. in the senate, he passed the smoking ban in restaurants, stopped the transvaginal ultrasound anti-choice law, and stood up to the nra. as lieutenant governor, dr. northam is fighting to expand access to affordable healthcare. ralph northam believes in making progress every day. and he won't let donald trump stop us.
12:24 am
( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) introducing the combo of combos. the big bold grill combos from applebee's. a grilled entrée and a side. and another grilled entrée. and another side.
12:25 am
ou're getting two combos... a combo of combos. combo'd. like a half-rack of ribs combo, combo'd with a grilled chicken combo. oh yeah, and your combo of combos could come with a side of unlimited fries. the big bold grill combos. starting at $12.99. only at applebee's. the this clean was like pow! steverything well?. my teeth are glowing. they are so white. step 1 cleans. step 2 whitens.
12:26 am
i would switch to crest [hd] over what i was using before. well it's a perfect nespresso hold on a second.orge. mmm. ♪ [mel torme sings "comin' home baby"] hey there. want a lift? ♪ where are we going? no don't tell me. let me guess. ♪ have a nice ride. ♪ how far would you go for coffee that's a cup above? i brought you nespresso. nespresso. what else?
12:27 am
( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) >> stephen: welcome back, everybody! ladies and gentlemen, my next guest has been a member of the white house press corps for over 20 years.
12:28 am
>> i do want to include the congressional black caucus and -- >> well, i would. do you want to set up the meeting. >> no, i'm just a reporter. are they friends of yours? set up a meeting. >> i know some of them. set up a meeting. i would love to meet with the black caucus. >> at some point, report the facts. everyone has come away with the same conclusion, republican, democrat. i'm sorry that disgusts you. you're shaking your head. you know what, you're asking me a question and i'm going to answer it which is the president -- i'm sorry, please stop shaking your head again. >> stephen: please welcome april ryan! ( cheers and applause ) ( band playing )
12:29 am
3 >> stephen: welcome to "the late show." nice to see you. >> it's great to be here. >> stephen: well, as i said in your intro, you have been a member of the white house press corps for 20 years. is there a particular responsibility that those people who are at the white house everyday have? >> yes. >> stephen: what would you you say the cardinal responsibility is? >> to get information, accurate information, facts for the american public. it's not about us. it's about the american public. it's about the first amendment. it's about freedom of the press. it's not about us. it's about informing the masses to let them know what's going on. ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: but this is your fourth president. >> yes. >> stephen: do you feel like, in these press conferences that you're doing, that you and the other members in that room, do you have to keep a poker face in a way? you don't want to let the guy or sean or sara huckabee sanders up there know what they've just revealed to you
12:30 am
to have the previous -- >> yeah, you're supposed to keep a poker face, but i don't have one, unfortunately. >> stephen: sean thinks you are very emotionl in that room. >> i feel so bad for sean. >> stephen: why? even though h he did what he did to me, he didn't get a chance to see the pope. >> stephen: i heard he was a devout catholic and not in the group brought in to meet the holy father. >> i wanted to tweet to ask the pontiff to give an audience to sean spicer. he may not be there when we come back. who knows. >> stephen: the pope or sean spicer? ( laughter ) talk there might be turnover in the communications department in the white house. it's a hard job, but it really seems like a disaster area. ( laughter ) >> i can't -- ( laughter ) >> stephen: you can't respond?
12:31 am
>> no comment stephen: how would you characterize the previous white house communications team, april ryan? >> well, stephen colbert, it's -- ( laughter ) -- it's always fast-paced, but this administration, their communications team is manic. they're coming at things in a way without the history of what has been done prior to on some issues. in other times, they just come at way they want to come at it, and we're trying to put the pieces together because there is a standard in washington, ow things have been done, and they have totally thrown away the script. >> stephen: well, they were elected, or mr. trump was elected to do that and that was part of his message. can't blame him on a certain level. >> the american public was looking for change but they didn't realize the kind of change they were going to get. i'm serious. they are playing on that piece, but it's always learn as you go. it's always a learning c
12:32 am
a new president, but when this president comes in, the curve is really, um, long, bent, twisted -- ( laughter ) >> stephen: well, the president has said that the press, the media, the mainstream media, the fake news, is the enemy of the american people. has that made you guys band together and say, we're going to get this guy because he called us the enemy and we're going to make it true? >> no, no, no. they are warring on us. we are here to do a job. again, it's not about us. it's about the information. it's about access and information. we're not warring on them. we are trying to seek the truth. there's so much on the table. the stakes are so high. what does it look like for the press to be fighting with the president of the united states? the american public loses out. so when it's about the first amendment, the people in that room are very serious. we are very serious about what we're doing. the stakes are so high. i mean, you've got
12:33 am
axe swinging. the least of these are being hurt. you've got issues around the world. you've got terrorism. there is so much going on, it has to be taken seriously. if one side wants to war, the other side has to be serious to get the information. ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: one last thing. you -- i want to get this right -- you have a metaphor for the president. you've referred to president trump as a dog barking at the moon. >> mmm. >> stephen: what does that mean? >> he doesn't realize he's the moon and he's reversed the whole scenario. he's now the dog barking at the moon. the the moon doesn't bark. it stands in all its glory and looks down, sits high and looks low, whereas the dog barks. the moon doesn't bark back. >> stephen: i'm just going to go with you on that one. the moon reflects the sun. what is the sun in this case? >> the sun gives us growth and light. >> stephen: yeah, i ,
12:34 am
sun? ( laughter ) let's say the constitution and leave it at that. >> the constitution. >> stephen: you're welcome. you can use that. >> the constitution. the framework. >> stephen: please say hi to everybody over there from us at "the late show." say hi to sean from me. >> he's not speaking to me. >> stephen: tell him to stop by. tell him it's fun here. we're -- we'll have a loft fun together. >> okay. >> stephen: good to have you here. american urban radio network's april ryan, everybody!
12:35 am
12:36 am
12:37 am
>> stephen: how are you? hey, nice to see you! that's it for the "late show," everybody! tune in tomorrow when my guests will be gordon ramsay, david sedaris, and musical guest, pixies. now stick around for james corden and his guests, orlando bloom, zac efron, and zach woods. good night! ( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) captioning sponsored by cbs captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org ♪ are you ready y'all to have some fun ♪ feel the love tonight don't you worry 'bout ♪ where you come from it's gonna be all right ♪ it's the late, late show ♪ ladies and gentlemen. ♪ all the way from